In this world, there are many helpless parents who face the children they raised but suddenly find strange and terrible. The once very well-behaved children suddenly become fierce when they want something, such as kids plastic cars and wooden dinosaur puzzles. When the parents find that they lose control of their beloved son or daughter. When they talked about their children's problems helplessly, sometimes they only got the answer "it's too late". Why? Because they missed the best time for their children's psychological education.
The first step of psychological parenting is emotional parenting, but what puzzles many parents is that when the children they cultivated with their emotions and all their hard work one day suddenly make their parents feel so strange, so hostile, and so scary. The reason is that children’s growth needs "love", but the essence of love, the art of love, and the expression of love are not just about giving, not just satisfaction, and not just accommodating in every way, not allowing children to feel "happy" forever!
Life and death, encounter and parting, happiness and pain in life have always appeared in pairs. Growing children must also experience "pair" education, and they must experience a kind of psychological pain, restraint and patience. This kind of parenting starts when the child is 3 years old. When he can say his own requirements, he must start to say "no" to him. For example, if he wants a wooden toy house when he already had similar toys, try to refuse him. The result may be an experience that made him cry. But if you wait for his puberty after 12-14 years old, when you start to "say no" to him (her), he will no longer cry, choke, or roll. He (she) will run away from home, he will take poison to commit suicide, he will threaten his parents by jumping off the building, because at that time he (she) already has various abilities and options to deal with you. Therefore, the parental love of parents must be intellectual, and don't give children a possibility of misunderstanding.
First, choose the time when your child shows willfulness in the early stage, generally between 3-5 years old. After the child reaches the age of 3, as he grows older, his cry is sometimes no longer physical pain, but an expression of intention. For example, if you take him or her to a friend's house, he or she will not leave without the small plastic figures toys; if you take him to the mall, you will see that fun things, such as wooden magnetic trains and plastic toy houses must be obtained, and parents will make a big fuss if they don't buy them. When his parents found out that his mentality of "don't give up until he reached the goal" appeared, he should be deliberately "say no" education.
Second, the environment for "saying no" should be exquisite. Let the child face you alone, instead of letting him face you in front of everyone or other relatives when the child is crying for plastic toy birds.
Third, the first time you do this, your child may continue to cry. At this time, parents should not beat him, do not scold him, and do not reason with him at this time. Because he is still young, and many words are still not clear, remember don't go away, because he should always feel your non-concession attitude even when he shows great interest in the plastic shark toy.
It should be paid enough attention that you are supposed to give your child some rewards when he or she behaves well for a period of time and don’t say “no” all the time. Brain teaser wooden puzzles and plastic construction blocks can be good choices as rewards for them.